Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captain PATEL
Welcoming both seated and standing passengers on board of Air India
We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off, it was due to bad weather and
some overtime I had to put in at the bakery
this is flight 717 to Mumbai. Landing there is not
guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in India. And, if luck is in our
favour, we may even be landing on your village
Air India has an excellent safety-record. In fact, our safety standards are
so high, that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us!
It is with pleasure; I announce that, starting this year, over 30% of our
passengers have reached their destination.
If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn
them off!
To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we serve
complimentary DHARU and Chutney Vadai.
For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the only
airline who can help you find out if there really is a God!
We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as
we forgot to record it from the television. However, for our movie buffs, we
will be flying right next to Emirates Airline, where their movie will be
visible from the right side of the cabin window.
There is no smoking allowed in this airplane. Any smoke you see in the
cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down!
In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible
for the best view. If however, we go a little too close, do let us know.
Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark!
Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and
fasten your seat-belt. For those of you who can't find a seat-belt, kindly
fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat. And, for those of you who
can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a stewardess who
will explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase.'
ENJOY AIR INDIA
